The Ignoring

nicholascageThe Ignoring is a brand new movie starring Nicholas Cage…not. The Ignoring is what I dealt with for over a month here recently. I would come home. I would say something to my husband. I would be met with silence. I would text my husband. I would be met with no reply. It got to the point where he would just look at me and glare. This glare was in response to the following situations.

Me: I got you frozen pizzas

Him: *Glare*

This isn’t because he doesn’t like frozen pizza, he freaking loves frozen pizza; it’s a large part of his diet, about sixty-five percent or so.

Me: How are you today?

Him: *Glare*

Me: How’s your family?

Him: *Glare*

Me: Do you want to go out for dinner?

Him *Glare*

Although, he would occasionally spout that he didn’t have money for dinner, I mostly got the glare response. This man makes a chunk of money more than I do. He has money for dinner.

You get the picture. This went on and on and on and on and on. He would speak perhaps ten words to me a day. He would hole up in his room(another post) and just ignore me. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

I can imagine this is what he was thinking:

Is there someone talking? Is there another person here, because I thought it was just me and my farts.

As you can imagine, this is quite hurtful. He didn’t tell me why he was ignoring me or what he hoped to accomplish. The silent treatment, or in this case the ignore treatment, is counseled against by pretty much every single marriage therapist ever.

Finally, I asked him about it. Why was he ignoring me?

I got the answer when I was sick and in bed. Sick and in bed, people.

He felt that our relationship wasn’t going to work anymore because I didn’t want children with him. Let me tell you something, there is a very, very good reason for this decision, in fact, multiple good reasons. This isn’t just me choosing to be one of those women that don’t have children, not every woman wants to be a mother, but that’s not why I chose what I did. I like kids and I would like to have some of my own someday.

When the conversation led to the inevitable, he got really angry. He was upset that I wasn’t more upset. I guess he thought I was going to fall down on the ground crying and say I would do whatever it took to keep the relationship going. For the record, there have been plenty of on the floor crying times in this relationship. I’m done. I’m done, done, done, done, done, DONE! I’m angry about it too, of course, as you already guessed. I’m angry that I’ve been treated in the manner that I’ve been treated, but that’s life I guess.

I find ignoring someone intentionally and for prolonged periods of time is highly disrespectful, if not abusive, but I tend to shy away from calling something like that abuse, but maybe I need to develop a tougher skin.

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